Hello, my dear reader, this is Catherine, the blogger behind the Inspiration & Exploration.
The reason that led me into personal development and so-called “awakening” is not very pleasant. It happened around 2 years ago when I had to go through pain to realize that it is time for a change. And now, I am totally fine with that as I know that if not those bad experiences, I would not reach this point in my life.
I started reading a lot about self-esteem and I accidentally stumbled upon personal development topics, self-improvement, affirmations, and journaling. And that is when it clicked. I started learning a lot of things that happened to me are in my control. I can feel the way I let myself.
In general, I have never been a spiritual person or someone who does anything based on beliefs. I studied psychology at the university, which I quit afterward, and from there I picked up on the idea that many scientists would say, I will not believe it unless you prove it with numbers and experiments.
However, as I was desperate for a change and I read a lot of information that gave me some hope, I started implementing my personal development plan.
My very first step in my personal development process was self-esteem. Because since childhood, my self-esteem was not going the right way and I had no one to help me with that. I was feeling that I hated myself and I was the one stopping myself from being a better person. Therefore, it made me a person who had no desire to live and no desire to make new friends. I did not have the desire to be happy and even if I did I had no idea how. I could not find the reason to live or the reason to be happy.
One of the greatest techniques that helped me to improve my self-esteem was affirmations, guided meditation, and visualization. And the most hilarious thing, when I remember how it all was, is the fact that I was not sure if it would work.
Talking with myself in the mirror, writing down good things about myself, imagining how happy I am, forcing myself to smile every time I went outside, all this sounded crazy. At times it felt even lonely as I had no one to share it with. But if not the online communities I would think I am crazy.
However, I kept going. I even started a blog that time called “self-bloom”. I was writing everything I learned and to my surprise, some people found it a great piece of advice.
At that time, I had no idea what was detachment but I got lucky to be detached from the results and I did not care if it would work or not. All my attention and concentration were personal development and it helped to be distracted from the frustration of daily life.
I did not even know if I was doing it right, I was reading over and over, practicing over and over.
And once, after a month or more, I realized that I was started to love myself. I was not that person who would feel ashamed for something that much, I became more confident, I started caring about negative people. I called and texted many people I hurt and let myself be guilty-free. I forgave everyone who hurt me and most importantly, I forgave myself.
I was not sure whether it was something long-term or I thought it was getting better but when I started hearing for different people that they see I am a confident woman, damn it felt so good. I also used to be a very shut person when it came to the working environment. I still am as I get tired of socializing too much however I felt scared to make new friends and I was not confident communicating with colleagues.
When I changed my job and met new colleagues, I became one of the coolest people in the office. People wanted to be friends with me and they wanted to hang out with m outside the office. It felt great and I realized that my self-esteem really had changed. I actually did it!
Recently, my life has been full of changes. Just because I made some huge self-improvement does not mean nothing bad will happen. There were many other issues I needed to deal with that at some point dragged me in. Only self-esteem is not enough to be happy and there are many other aspects, internal or external.
With this blog, I want to go back to that time when I worked more on myself. Life problems dragged me in a little bit and I do not want to lose what I have already achieved.
I am not a psychologist, I am not an expert in personal development and I do not want someone to think that just because I give away some advice, it will always help you. Even if there are general techniques, each technique works differently as every person has a different experience, different priorities, different preferences. Just because something worked for me, does not mean it will work for you.
Writing about self-improvement helps me to stay on track, remember things better and a great bonus is being a part of the community that does the same.
Why are you here? What is your journey? Share your story!