Greetings, explorer! My name is Catherine, the blogger behind the Inspiration & Exploration.
The events that led me into personal development and “awakening” are not very pleasant. Everything has started in 2017 when I had to go through painful experiences to realize that it was time for a change. As a result, I am more than grateful for those bad experiences which led me to something much better.
I started reading a lot about self-esteem and I accidentally stumbled upon personal development topics, self-improvement, affirmations, and journaling. And that is when it clicked. I realized that a lot of things that happen to me are in my control.
In general, I have never been a spiritual person or someone who does anything based on beliefs. I studied psychology at the university, which I quit afterward, and starting from there, I would never believe anything unless I could see a proof with numbers and experiments.
However, as I was desperate for a change and I read a lot of information about self-improvement, I had the hope that I can do it myself. So I started implementing my personal development plan.
My very first step in my personal development process was self-esteem. Because since childhood, I lacked self-esteem and I had no one to help me with that. I hated myself and I was the one stopping myself from being a better person. Therefore, it made me a person who had no desire to live and no desire to make new friends. I had no desire to be happy and I had no idea how to be happy.
One of the greatest techniques that helped me to improve my self-esteem was affirmations, guided meditation, and visualization. When I started implementing my plans, I did not expect that it would have any result, though I kept going.
Talking with myself in the mirror, writing down good things about myself, imagining how happy I am, forcing myself to smile every time I went outside, all this sounded crazy. At times it felt even lonely as I had no one to share it with.
I started a blog that time called “Self-bloom”. I was writing about everything I learned and to my surprise, some people found it a great piece of advice.
Back then, I had no idea what was detachment but I got lucky to be detached from the results and I did not care if it would work or not. I was simply having fun and experimenting which helped me to be distracted from the frustration of daily life.
I did not even know if I was doing it right, I was reading different resources over and over, practicing every single day.
And once, after a month or more, I realized that I was starting to love myself. I was not that person anymore who would feel ashamed, I became more confident, I started caring about negative people. I called and texted many people I hurt and let myself be guilty-free. I forgave everyone who hurt me and most importantly, I forgave myself.
I did not know what to expect from my experiment and whether it was something long-term. But then, I started hearing feedback from people that I met and they perceived me as a confident woman. Receiving such compliments felt so damn good. Of course, there were things that did not change. For instance, I always hated being asocial. I still am because I get tired of socializing too much and I like the way I am. I used to feel scared to make new friends and I was not confident in communicating with new people. Now I do not have that fear anymore and I am totally comfortable with that.
When I changed my job and met new colleagues, I became one of the coolest people in the office. People wanted to be friends with me and they wanted to hang out with me outside the office. It felt great and I realized that my self-esteem really had changed. I actually did it!
Recently, my life has been full of changes. Just because I made some huge self-improvement does not mean nothing bad will happen. There were many other issues I needed to deal with that at some point dragged me in. Self-esteem is not enough to be happy and there are many other aspects, internal or external.
I am not a psychologist, I am not an expert in personal development and I do not want someone to think that just because I give away some advice, it will always help you. Even if there are general techniques, each technique works differently as every person has different experiences, different priorities, and different preferences. Just because something worked for me, does not mean it will work for you.
Writing about self-improvement helps me to stay on track, and remember things better and a great bonus is being a part of a community that does the same.
Why are you here? What is your journey? Share your story!