Overcoming Frustration – How To Deal With Frustration And Anger

Frustration is a negative emotion that can cause us a lot of life issues long-term or short-term. When we are frustrated we are stressed or angry and getting rid of frustration becomes hard. There are many reasons that can cause frustration as life is full of challenges and obstacles. There are many internal or external factors that might cause frustration and sooner we try to get rid of it, less severe it will get.

If we delay taking care of frustration we might end up losing motivation, lack self-esteem, become self-judgmental and become unhappy in general.

Related: Frustration Quotes

Here are 25 simple ways to get rid of frustration:

Be present

Most of the time when you feel frustrated your mind starts wandering elsewhere. You might start over-analyzing the event that is frustrating you or the contrary, start imagining some other better place to avoid frustration. We also think a lot about the future and upcoming events and as a result, we upset ourselves that way. That is why it is important to stay in the present moment and learn how to deal with the problem at this moment. Avoiding or ignoring it will not help you in the long term. Yes, it is nice to plan future, for instance, and consider your future goals, however, thinking about the future all the time can cause a lot of frustration as you are concentrating on something unknown and it can be very scary and frustrating sometimes. Do not focus on tomorrow too much as you are missing out on the joy of the present moment.

Photo by Victor Garcia

Breath deeper

Just close your eyes and take 2 deep and slow breaths. Then, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Breathe naturally and do not try to control it. Listen to the air going in and out of your nose for around 5 minutes. Make sure to breathe with your belly and not the chest. Repeat this until you feel more calm and relaxed. Deep breathing helps to lower blood pressure and heartbeat. Accordingly, it helps to diminish stressful emotions. It will not help you long-term. However, give it a try and practice this breathing technique in moments of frustration.

Identify the triggers

If you want to deal with frustration long term one of the best practices to try out is journaling. You can write down all the reasons that you think frustrate you so you can assess them and start working on yourself. Make sure, to be honest with yourself. Is that a specific person that frustrates you or a specific situation? Maybe a place or occasion? Besides finding answers, journaling is a great practice in general. You can write about your frustrations and let it all out.

Identify solutions

Once you identify the reason that makes you feel frustrated you can start creating the list of solutions that will assist you in hard situations You can ask yourself some questions and answer them with solutions. What can you do to lessen the frustration when it is at its peak? What can you do now to become less frustrated in the future? What do you think you are doing wrong that causes you frustration? Consider all options, practice them and learn what works the best. Keep recording the progress and find better solutions.

Avoid the triggers of frustration

Once you identify the triggers that cause your frustration, you will know the situation you need to avoid. We all have these small triggers that cause us to feel down and we cannot deal with them. It is absolutely fine if you avoid them for the start unless you learn how to deal with them. If I have someone in my life who frustrates me I avoid them at all costs, for example, because I know I will feel stressed and I do not need extra luggage. Just know your triggers and avoid them.

Photo by Stefan Cosma

Control negative thinking patterns

Frustration can often occur when you have a negative thinking pattern and if you do not change these patterns it will occur over and over. Learn how to deal with negative thinking patterns, understand when these patterns occur and practice to get better. Learn how to observe yourself in the moment of frustration and instead of reacting the way you usually do, try and act differently. Experience how a different action feels and if you decide it is less frustrating, give it a try and stick to it.

Do not compare yourself to others

The world is full of competition and as social media develops, it gets worse. We see all these people having perfect and careless lives. You should not forget that first of all, there will be always someone a little better and someone a little worse. That is just how it is. Secondly, do not think that everyone on the TV who seems happy is actually living that happy life. Think about it. It is easy to fake that smile on the picture and you can do that too. The only person you should compare to is yourself.

Stop expecting too much from others

I have made this mistake a thousand times. Whether it was a friend or a loved one, I always believed and trusted everyone and ended up being cheated. That often caused long-term frustration which was very hard to handle. Accept the fact that there are limits. People can be unfair and inconsistent. Besides, try your best not to depend on others. Yes, it does sound harsh because how can you even make friends if you stop trusting everyone but I do not mean to make it extreme. Just always be cautious that people can upset you and learn how to be happy independently, whether you are with them or alone.

Dedicate your time to those who care

Stick to the people who are ready to listen to you and support you when it comes to the time of frustration. There is are the type of friends who are there only when you are having fun but not many people stick around when you are having hard times. However, there are also people who are ready to listen and do not judge you. There are people who understand that you cannot always be happy. So, spend more time with such supportive people.

Photo by Ross Findon

Make changes in your lifestyle

If you always feel down one of the reasons could be the fact that your lifestyle needs some change. If there is too much mess and stress it can cause you frustration eventually. To deal with frustration effectively change little things in your lifestyle that will make you feel better. Eat healthier, fix your sleeping schedule, exercise, drink more water. If your body is under the stress your mind will be under the pressure as well. I had this experience many times. I often find a connection between my body and mind. If I feel down emotionally I feel bad physically and vice versa. Sometimes there might be no reason for frustration but when your body is under the stress, you feel frustrated as well, for no reason.

Take a walk outside

When you see the frustration is filling you up and it is getting worse, to temporarily reduce this negative energy taking some walk can help you to calm down. Of course, it will not help you long term however it will distract you for a while and you will be less frustrated. Staying alone by yourself in an empty room might worsen the situation but going out on the fresh air can boost your thinking, clear your mind and make you less edgy.  Once you calm down it might be easier to solve frustration. When I used to have situations that I was frustrated, staying at home made it even worse because I started thinking more and more and everything was getting worse and worse. But once I went outside, for a walk, or just to buy something in the store, for instance, or see my friends, I felt more relieved.

Talk to friends or family members

Let yourself be vulnerable and share your concerns with your friends or family members. You do not have to tell them every single detail or worry too much that what if they do not understand something. It does not matter whether they understand everything or they have answers to every problem. However, sharing your negative feelings with someone instead of bottling it up, will help you to feel more relieved. I have met so many strangers, let’s say in a bar who are distracting themselves from life problems and they just complained about their life with a stranger like me. I do not mind, I can listen but I see how much they have to talk and feels bad that they do not speak with their friends because friends can be more helpful than some stranger.

Exercise

Physical exercise is not only healthy for your body but also for your mind.  Did you know that physical activity stimulates the release of dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine? If you are not very sporty, do not worry, you do not have to lift weights or run 10 kilometers. Find your type of sports and exercise regularly. It will also help you to distract yourself instead of drowning in the sea of frustration. When I was fighting my depression going to the gym was a great deal for me. If I had a crappy morning or some frustration following me from the previous day, going to the gym changed everything. I would feel happier, calmer, more motivated and stronger. Besides calming your mind, the great bonus is a flawless sexy body.

Do not blame others

It is so much easier to handle stress when you blame everything on other people. This desperate attempt can hurt important people in your life and besides, blaming others will not help you to solve your problems. Yes, I do not argue, sometimes it can be someone else’s fault at some point but even if it sounds relieving, avoid this. Stop blaming other people or circumstances, it is a bad habit and it can hurt other’s feelings.

Go and have some fun

Yes, this might sound desperate and I do not mean you need to go get drunk and do crazy stuff. Why not simply go out and have some fun, drink, dance, listen to music? There is nothing wrong with that and it is another great way to get distracted a little bit. Of course, this will not make your frustration disappear forever however you can always get back to your problems, right? You can afford and escape this stress for a little while.

Photo by Jon Tyson

Experiment with cooking

Another great way to distract yourself temporarily is by cooking. Maybe you are not a great fan of cooking but maybe you could spend some time and learn something new? If you love cooking even better as it is a sort of art at some point. Find a recipe with ingredients that you love the most, find some guidance on the internet and try to cook. It requires some attention and accordingly, can help you to get distracted from frustration for a while.

Do not blame yourself

You might be confused as previously I mentioned not to blame others so you might have thought that you should blame yourself. Not at all. Instead of blaming yourself you need to take responsibility. It is absolutely two different things. Understand that it is all in the past, it is gone and there is no point contemplating about something that you are frustrated about. Blaming yourself is extra luggage that will make your frustration even worse.

Get some sleep

I have spent many sleepless nights because of frustration and as an expert in sleeping early in the morning after sleepless nights, I advise you not to follow the same path. There were many moments in my life, when I went to bed very upset, sometimes at 6 AM in the morning. However, after waking up my frustration was almost gone or at least I felt a little better. So, try to go to bed on time and sleep it over. Besides, frustration takes a lot of energy and a good night’s sleep can help you to deal with frustration on a fresh and calm mind.

Imagine worst-case scenario

In case you are frustrated over something you can imagine a situation where it could have been worse. Yes, it may not ease your frustration right away but imagine what the worse situation could be. Maybe whatever frustrates you right now is not as dramatic as you perceive it. Try to change your perspective. If it helps you, you can also write about it rather than imagine. Writing a story of worst-case scenario can help you to imagine it and it will ease your current irritation.

Stop feeling powerless

Does not matter what you are frustrated about, it might get even worse if you feel powerless. When we feel that we have no control over anything, we feel scared and irritated. This may end up like an aggressive response to the situation and you might do something even worse in fear of powerlessness. There are many ways of generating personal power and if you practice how to do it, next time you get frustrated you will know that you are the one in control.

Be direct with other people

In order not to end up being frustrated because of other people, try to be as direct as possible with them. Do not talk with hints as people cannot read your thoughts. If someone misunderstood you could be because you did not say something straight, so you frustrate not only yourself but others as well. Do not talk with people the way that they have to guess what you mean or in a passive-aggressive way. If it is something difficult to talk about finding a good moment when you can go and speak in a simple, straightforward da friendly way.

Photo by Merch HÜSEY

Do not keep it bottled up

Do not get frustrated even more if you hold everything in and do not speak up. Talking it over with a friend or family members can play a great role in healing your frustration now and in the future. If it is something you cannot talk about, then write about it. Or talk with strangers about it, if that helps. Just understand one thing, the more negativity you keep inside you the worse it will get. Maybe not now, not tomorrow, but eventually it will have to come out and you may end up hurting someone because of that.

Detach emotionally

When you attach to something or someone too much, it is very hard to deal with frustration. When you are attached you become too subjective and it gets harder to find an objective and mature solution to the problem. Attaching yourself to the situation means you are expecting something and when it does not happen you get disappointed and as a result, you end up being frustrated. As soon as you get frustrated, try to detach yourself emotionally and maybe even physically. Instead, spend your attention on something else.

Appreciate good things that you have now

We all tend to always look for better and bigger. We always want more and more. And while we are focused on looking for improvements we are missing out on what we already have, right now. If you are frustrated because something happened, remember something good that you have now. Stop having an attitude of “all or nothing”. It is fine that something went wrong and you got frustrated. And it is also okay if you want it to be better. No one wants to be miserable, you know? Do not miss out on the good things you already have and appreciate them.

Photo by Randalyn Hill

Find a goal you are passionate about

When I used to get frustrated it would affect all areas of my life and I could get frustrated over everything else even if it had nothing to do with my irritation. However, once you start having a goal you are working on, you have more focus and even if you are frustrated, it is easier to regain control. Once you have serious goals even if you are frustrated you have no choice but calm that frustration and keep working. You should not let some frustration distract you from the goals that could change your life and make you a better person.

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